Just Not Sure

I think I did something bad. I think I ruined something, but I'm not sure. Sometimes, I can't keep my mouth shut.

The first baseball game

Hopefully hanging out with Ashley tomorrow and going to congress. I need to write a paper. World still crashing. : (

The first baseball game

Hopefully hanging out with Ashley tomorrow and going to congress. I need to write a paper. World still crashing. : (

So much.

My world seems to have come crashing down.

Purple, Again

I have been very busy. I have seven post-its left...that's how busy I've been.

I like helping people with homework, it makes me feel needed and useful.

I love being busy though, not too busy, but just right. That way everything gets done and I don't waste time. Unfortunately, being busy makes me a little moody, much less nice, and very on edge. This makes me take frustration and sleep deprivation on my friends, who really don't deserve that at all.

My computer still feels like it's out of commission. I'll be spending most of my weekend working with it. I've been virtually living out of the CS Student Lounge for the sole purpose of using the computers in there. I just remembered the other day that I completely wiped all my bookmarks; it made me sad.

I think I'm going to put Ashley on the Linux project after we get it started. I need to e-mail Gloria some questions about it and I'll also send some e-mails to Doug, Brian, and Ron. Hopefully we can get started on it this weekend. I should probably tell Ashley we're doing that this weekend, haha. Maybe she'll read this and get the hint : )

I've decided I'm going to like purple. I am going to like the color purple. I've been trying to enforce this new mantra by using my purple felt-tip pen a lot and by setting my aim text colors to purple. I think it's going pretty well so far.

I think that's it for now. Have a great Wednesday!!

Home

As it turns out, I've had enough of home now. Friday and Saturday, that was fun. Time to leave. I'm allergic to my cat and I can't seem to speak to my parents or have them speak to me without me getting annoyed. I'm such a bad offspring.

10/14

• Bikes
• Indy
• Christmas stuff
• VS Card
• sleep.

Dessert Wine

Ahh, home. I really like home. It smells like home. You know it's home when it doesn't have a smell at all, that's the home smell. When you're so used to it, you don't even notice it. I like my dog. She's so cute!!

I have a to do list tomorrow, quelle suprise! I'm going to get up and head to the Vision Walk to volunteer and get Foundation Hours. At this point I should have three. I have to talk to my mom about buying Campbell's soup, about 10 cans, maybe 20 if she's feeling extra generous. I wonder if boxtops counts towards Foundation hours, hmm. Hopefully I'll be back from the walk around 10:30. After I get back, I plan on working on the bike stencil and hopefully finishing the bikes. I need more paint, so I should probably stop by Ace on my way back from Indy. Then I need to print out a lot of e-mails. I think I need to install some printers on my computer too. There are two printers upstairs on our network and I want to print from them off of my computer. After printing important e-mails, like the one from Border's, I'm going to head to Border's with a possible stop at Starbucks. I'm going to get a planner and immerse myself in the computer section and be nerdy because I'm good at doing that. Hopefully by then it will around 4 or 4:30 at which time I will go home, pick out what I'm going to wear and go to Adrie's for her Hayride!

Sometime in the midst of all this, Malisa is going to call me and she is going to come over and we are going to be happy together, haha.

My parents took me out to dinner tonight and it was scrumptous! I had a grilled pork chop with an apple butter glace and sweet potatoes au gratin. Lucky for me, I have some left over!! I had fondue for dessert, *sigh* It was truly amazing and awe-inspiring. I tried three different dessert wines and I have decided that I'm going to be come a dessert wine conessieur. I like sweet things, dessert wines are sweet; perfect match. I don't think I'm ready to like wine wine yet.

OK, I really have to go to bed since I'm getting up pretty fucking early tomorrow morning!!

Stay tuned for my upcoming Sunday schedule, hopefully to be posted tomorrow...sometime.

P.S. Bryan do not let me forget to get my fleece blanket. If you do I will steal all the blankets every night for the rest of your life no matter where you live. : )

Purple

So, I'm not particularly fond of the color purple, yet I find myself setting my AIM colors to purple. And I really like my dark purple DG IM shirt. I just don't like a lot of purple I guess.

There are lots of things to do. And lots of things to think about. And there a lot of things that I can't fix.

Real Estate Agent Wanted.

I need to move. Preferably to a new state. I feel that I've spent too long here and I need to move to remind myself of how I actually am.

I moved a lot when I was younger and I might have learned that if you keep people at the perfect distance, you don't get hurt as often. This isn't to say you don't get hurt, but it just doesn't happen as much. When you move a lot, you don't become so emotionally invested in someone that it hurts to tears when you find out they really don't care.

I've already made this mistake twice. I almost want to keep making it because I doubt that I'm strong enough to not make it. At the same time, I'm very logical and I'd like to take the path of least pain. I guess I just don't see myself doing that.

I have to have someone.

I'm almost more willing to unload problems on people I don't even know. It's easier. You tell one person one problem and then you never see them again. That person doesn't actually care since they have no investment in you, but they'll pretend to since a person is actually quite caring if you need them to be for a short amount of time. That way I'm not putting too much of me into one person and no one person has to listen to everything I say.

Mmm...perfect worlds.

I have something to say, but I'm afraid to say it, so I think I might just tuck it away in the far recesses of my mind and not worry about for a long time. I'll hope that it doesn't sit there as something for me to ponder when I have nothing to think about and that it will go so far away I'll forget where I put it.

Procrastinating

I'm bored. I have a paper to write. And Operations Research homework to do. I did my org homework...and I get it.

I'm procrastinating because I don't want to write my paper and I have no idea what I'm going to write it about. It's supposed to be creative, or something of the like. I don't do creative. I do logic, reason, research. That kind of stuff. I just don't do creative.

I wonder what's for lunch today. *checks e-mail* Hamburgers and hotdogs. Sounds kind of good. I wonder what's at Kappa.

*Evil looks to the girl who's sitting at my table*

House. Good. : )