"When something's not right, it's wrong"

There is something wrong. Very very wrong, I can tell. I don't know what it is. I just feel weird and I don't like it. I feel like I haven't let myself take an emotional/mental break in awhile. Last summer there was Javi and Pete. Two boys that were oh-so-fun to deal with (afterall, hindsight is 20/20). This summer I get Bryan issues. Well, except this time I'm not sure what I did. Oh well, moving on.

Maybe for normal people, some of these random changes would be good, but for anyone who knows me, this isn't like me at all.

I want to be outside. I want to go running. I want to go on walks. I want to roll around in the grass. I want to drink beer or at least chick-type malt beverages with no intention of getting drunk.

I know these sound like really great things, but that's not how I am. Plus they come with a weird feeling and that's not good. I can't even place the weird feeling. I just know that Costa Rica will be a welcome break from everything. Maybe I'll work on not thinking and trying to enjoy myself and not plaster on smiles when I don't feel like smiling even if it's what people want me to do so they feel better.

I had a nice talk with Ashley tonight outside of our duplex. Tomorrow we should make lunch and then eat outside. That would be fun, I'll suggest it tomorrow if she doesn't already read it and tell me it sounds good.

Things That Are Just On My Mind

• Birth control
• Spiders
• Nicole Miller and Susan Kline
• Wine
• Chaise-lounge
• the cute dress I plan on wearing tomorrow with the necklace that goes with it
• Agronomy Office
• doing things Naked!!
• that Glory Hallelujah song in Saint Ralph and in a House episode
• How bored I am of TV and technology