3/23/08

I'm so hurt right now. It's John and Maria all over again. I can't believe it. I'm not that demanding, all you have to be is honest. If you can't be yourself and honest around someone, then what's the point of being friends? I can't invest myself like this again. It evidently doesn't work. This emotional break is like an explosion. I need to be with people. Thank god for Bill Clinton and Malisa.

I have a post-it of my favorite quotes about lies. "The cruelest lies are often told in silence."

My normal friends and I, we don't touch. Those are my boundaries. Touching implies a comfort level I don't have with males, outside of Jesse and people I dance with. Damn it, never touch me!!! I was going to pull a, "you just want to be friends? Don't hug me, my friends and I, we don't hug. So don't even bother." Why didn't I? I can't wait for summer. I'll forget about perfect and I'll work on happy. I need to call Marques and see what he's doing and how much it's going to cost me to get good again. I need to fill that void where happy used to be. Well, the empty happy dancing void at least. I like to think I heal fast and anger helps that. Thankfully, I'm very angry, how fortuitous.