Issues

The fact that you're dateable does not mean we are dating. It only means that I'm comfortable enough with myself to tell you that you are. It in no way changes the previous relationship unless you want it to. Since I'm just giving you information and what you do with it is completely up to you. And let's be honest, I don't give a damn what you do with it! I'm fine where we are and I will continue to be just fine on my own because that's how I operate. I take care of myself first. Selfish, but deal with it.

SO GET OVER IT!!!


Mmm...venting felt good. So hopefully under two comforters and two blankets, I will be warm enough to sleep. I hate my room because I don't think the heat works in it. It has been so cold that I laid awake in my bed for an hour because I was too cold to sleep. Even my nurses complain about it being cold. Fucking furnace.

Baby Plants!

I've got to stop reading Post Secret. Haha, like that will happen. I love imagining what people could possibly be talking about when their secret is really vague, like "I'll always hate you." Usually they're worded better and have a cool homemade postcard backgroud, but you get the idea. I love reading it, not necessarily because I share a lot of secrets with the people who send them in, but I love finding sayings that someone else has decided is important. Sometimes they apply and it makes me feel like a stranger is telling me to do something. Which is more powerful since a stranger doesn't even know me and if they can pick up that something or other has to change...that's bad and means it really has to change.


It is. I've decided this. I'm going to be fresh...like lettuce. "Bright and shiny." I'm not dark and twisty, so hopefully bright and shiny shouldn't be too bad to pull off. Not that I don't like where I've been, but I feel that I've tired of it. And my medical health stuff says it's time to move on. Given, lots of things will be the same (e.g. Post-Its and felt-tip pens), but some small things are going to be fresh! I think it will be nice. I don't view this as a resolution either. I've given up on those. They always seem to be too big and radical to accomplish. Thankfully the little changes have been happening since mid-November, so I'm golden. hehe.

Driving

And I'm really glad people can relate to that postcard. It makes me feel better to know I'm not crazy for feeling that way.

Waiting...

Outside from it being a great movie (Love Ryan Reynolds and Justin Long!), I'm sitting at home waiting to go out with Shie. It's funny, we go to the same school and we only see each other over breaks. I suppose it helps that she lives about two blocks away, haha.

I had a really weird dream last night about vibrators. And flashlights. And devices that doubled as both. It was really strange. I hope the weird devices stay a dream and are never manufactured!!!

I've been hanging out with people I haven't seen in a long time and that's been really nice. History with people is funny...sometimes. Anyway, I'm looking forward to our family Christmas either tomorrow or Sunday, I'm not sure which. My parents want to go to a men's basketball game tomorrow. I don't like men's basketball, so I have no interest in going. I was a little upset that we had planned Christmas for tomorrow and they find out last night about the game and decide to completely rework the plans. Yes, I know I'm being very very selfish. But they couldn't have maybe found this out sometime during the past week and half? It's not as if we've been cut off from the world with no internet connection or something. Grr.

Well, off to check out mall sales and stuff.

Moody

I'm feeling moody. This is how I feel:

WA

I'm in Washington right now. I love being in Washington. Unfortunately, I still have to be packed and dressed, but now it's only once a day, which is better. Even from 2300 miles away, I still manage to get into fights with people. Thankfully I have Malisa who made me feel a lot better. We'll talk again tomorrow and work on seeing things from a different point of view. I think Curlee will be involved.

I have to keep reminding myself that I love and need honesty in my life. Fortunately, I think I have some retail therapy coming my way since I am near Seattle and Nordstrom is nearby. I have successfully fallen in love with a pair of Coach boots. Interestingly enough I already own a pair of Coach boots, but they are functional and these new ones I have a crush on are less functional and more beautiful.

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Done

*sigh*

Moving on, things not so good on some fronts, but awesome on others. Retail therapy should fix everything else. And if it doesn't, at least I'll feel a little better.

PHP, Apache

really?!? LoadModule php5_module "c:/php/php5apache2.dll" is supposed to be LoadModule php5_module "c:/php/php5apache2_2.dll"

fucking A. And I had to go through an e-mail list to find it!! Lucky for me I clicked on the right message. Grr...

Environment

Today I'd like to focus on the environment. Couple things here, a Greener Gadgets conference in New York: http://www.engadget.com/2007/12/12/greener-gadgets-conference-in-new-york-february-2008/
And, UPS is trying to save gas by making fewer left turns. No, really. http://www.engadget.com/2007/12/12/ups-turns-to-software-to-cut-down-on-left-hand-turns/
Little things add up when you have a whole bunch of trucks.

Next I'd like to focus on Tyra Banks. I was watching the Oxygen network tonight because I was able to catch the last half of Love and Basketball, wonderful movie. After the movie was over, the Tyra show came on. Tyra is really annoying. And I fear she might be dumb too. Instead of worrying whether your handbag is fake, just buy from a reputable seller. China Town in New York is not reputable. Thanks Tyra!

12/10

So I'm having everything packed and dressed twice a day which is a boatload of fun. Other than that no real news. Life is a little dull right now since I'm not a school and I'm spending a lot of it sleeping. Oh well.

12/8

It's late, I'm kind of tired. In reality that's a lie; I'm really tired. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything and I don't have the energy to do so. I hate reading things on a computer screen and I don't have a printer down here hooked up. And it's freezing.