Monday, August 20, 2007

Icy and Ill-Tempered

I don't have anything insightful or juicy to say today. I have a to do list. Which is really like every other day.

You know those songs that you just can't decide how they make you feel? I haven't decided how I feel about about Hey There Delilah. I've been listening to it for about 6 months now and I don't know how it makes me feel. I used to listen to it with Jesse because it was his and Kate's song. Even then I didn't know how it made me feel. It would calm me down, but then I was never sure if I was sad afterwards or inwardly happy. And now I feel like I associate the song with the entire breakup and that makes me sad, but I still love the song. I guess it feels weird to me to love a song associated with so much unhappiness. And I still don't know how I feel afterwards!!

Oh god, I'm being hit so hard by stuff that's happened. I can feel bad things coming on. Very soon I'm going to be very angry, cry a lot, and demand explanations. I can't believe I do this to myself. I feel so ridiculous, like I'm fragile or something. Which might be true. But seriously, at this point, that should be pretty well-known. Anger.

To Do
  • Make bed
  • set up desk
  • set up tv
  • go to blockbuster
  • scent refills
  • binders
  • be so busy I forget to be upset
  • rip dvds
  • see if Jesse wants to go to Plainfield.

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